now go sand the floors

The wedding – was wonderful. Ash and Tim got off to a great start with a lovely ceremony and a hell of a party. There was some chasing around and last minute distractions (NONE of them due to Ash who has a gold medal in organization) and a little chill in the air…But I am happy to report, it was amazing.

But now it’s over…

This last weekend, for reasons only a licensed therapist can explain, Ben and I decided to refinish the floors in both bedrooms. The lowest bid I had was $1100, and since Ash cleaned us out (see wedding) we decided “we can do this, how hard can it be?” Yup, this is always how it starts.

So after Graham fixed the crumbling wall in the front bedroom – I don’t mud – we emptied both rooms. I seem to have a lot of heavy furniture. I’m not sure where all of it came from, but apparently it was made by Germans. Unable to walk in the living or dining room and barely in the kitchen I am forced yet again into another episode of hoarders. Why do we have so much stuff? I’m still using my drawing board that I got in 10th grade, maybe this is part of the problem.

In keeping with our policy of argue early and often, we almost called it quits before starting. This is due to my newly adapted work style which seems to be ready, fire, aim. The “WE NEED TO HAVE A PLAN” discussion wasn’t pleasant. But after finding a sander (not Home Depot) and replacement boards oak for patching (Lumber Liquidators in Left Overshoe Nowhere) I got started reading the directions. Because I’m the girl, I read the directions. In bold type were the following WARNINGS 1: Fire! Okay. 2. Electrocution! Awesome. 3. Loss of digits! Of course. I was reminded of that commercial for a quit smoking medicine that has a list of side effects that starts with appetite loss and ends with suicide with about 90 other unpleasant complications in between. It leads one to wonder why you would take this to quit, is smoking really more dangerous? Pretty sure I never wanted to kill myself while I was smoking…yup, still miss smoking.

Instead of boring you (and me) with the details, I will summarize with what we learned. Ben always wonders if I will paint an unflattering portrait of him in these blogs (poor bastard) my only response is of course I will dear, it’s a given.

1. Do the patchwork before you are paying the rental on the sander. That was just stupid.
2. Use the edger before the big drum sander. I know this isn’t how the “experts” do it, but they have talent and experience. The little circular stander got away from me and had me dangerously close to doing the splits. I don’t do the splits anymore. Besides that it’s hard to “blend” where the edge sander and drum sander meet. If you do the edges first you wont spend HOURS hand sanding the transition spots while your husband watches the Vikings game. It could have been worse, he could have been smoking too.
3. Make sure the dust catcher doesn’t have a big ass burn hole it. Guess someone missed that whole Fire! extremely flammable part.
3. Use ear plugs. I said to Ben “I think I’ve got permanent hearing loss” he responded “What?”
4. Premedicate. Out of all the projects we have done, this one was the worst for me physically. My shoulders from machine and hand sanding feel like I just swam 1000 laps, in an Olympic size pool, doing the butterfly. I don’t do the butterfly anymore, well ever. I remarked on this to Ben who said that it’s just because we are getting older. Not only doesn’t this help, it reminds me that it’s been over a year since I started this. I’m amazed that anyone is still interested.

We spent about $200, if you don’t count eating out. Is it perfect? Seriously? Would I do it again? Only if I couldn’t afford to pay someone. It’s messy, dusty, physically taxing and time consuming. In addition, I’m pretty sure after my death the kids can process that Mesothelioma claim with 1-800-AX-GARY. Also…It’s an interesting phenomenon with me that while I can overlook the imperfections of paid professionals, I can’t seem to get past my own. I see bad spots that are the same as ones that the pro did. They don’t bother me where he made them, but they do where I did. BUT all that being said, they turned out so much better than I imagined. I’m proud, tired, sore and my house is a mess, but I’m happy.

Pest Control UpDATE
So after going 2 weeks without a corpse, we’ve seem to have had a setback. With doors left open during these projects, I think we have company. When I pulled a rag out of the match.com laundry basket (you know the one, filled with singles and hope to find it’s mate) I spotted a neat little pile of bird seed. Now, I’m no wildlife expert, but I thought that only squirrels and chipmunks were hoarders. I thought mice ate as they went along, ala carte. This wasn’t my first thought, my first thought was shit, now I have to wash everything in this basket – twice. Then I thought, is this a mouse or something larger. Something larger and we list and move. So I checked the traps and yes, another convict sent to the guillotine. But, being clever, at least more clever than a mouse, I left the seed to see if it would still be there this morning. It wasn’t. I’m concerned.

I have almost everything I need to finish the guest room and my office. In my fire, aim, ready procedure, I now have to fill holes, sand, paint and then decorate. Things are slow here, so I may actually be able to complete these tasks this week. Hey, be nice. It could happen!